chang*

the mac is down and so this space has been quiet and will remain so till i get my macbook back. hate blogging from work because daytime is not the time to be blogging, at least to me. somehow the cloak of night creates a more conducive atmosphere to share.

the keyboard and trackpad on my macbook stopped working, making me feel like i had my hands bound and lips stitched, with a mind overflowing on overdrive to boot.  apparently, this is a very common problem and the chap at the apple store said that i’d have it back in a week.

it is actually quite disgusting how the daily operation of my life has become so intertwined with that white, whirring thing. i now spend my evenings reading and watching animals devour each other on arts central. a nice change, i must admit.

wkwsci foc 2008 (what a mouthful, thanks to wee kim wee) is approaching and i am certainly looking forward to it. i seek to escape the mundanity that has now become a cornerstone of my life. 111 freshies to rag, an exciting bounty.

bought myself a new lens for my camera yesterday. have been wanting to for a while and finally saved enough cash to get it. hopefully, i’ll be able to patch the proverbial ‘hole’ with the shoots i have coming up. you can help too by referring me to whoever needs a photographer. i promise a finder’s fee, or a finder’s hearty meal.

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ok, here’s another self-portrait. i know what you are thinking but i happen to be my most willing model (pathetic, huh?). picture is kind of inspired by the title of an interpol album. been trying off-camera lighting and i have to say this is one of the better results so far. more to come.

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to see the rest of my photos, visit my flickr. click here.

the previous two posts were rambling diversions, so here are some pictures to add a little variety.

the photos above were shot a few weeks ago when i went to pandan reservoir with the intention of shooting the sunset. i got nothing impressive in that department and was getting a bit dismayed when i decided that since i had traveled there, might as well make the best of the situation. at the same time i noticed a flock of brids circling above where i sat on the grass (no i did not get bombed), flying in their formations and creating the beautiful lines that nature had to offer.

to see the rest of my pictures, visit my flickr by clicking here.

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it is official. barack obama will be carrying upon his lanky shoulders the hopes of the democrats in the upcoming presidential elections. not too long ago a scenario like this was highly improbable – a black man and a white woman on the front and in the spotlight going at each other (unless we are talking a twisted variation of shakespeare’s simlilarly improbable portrayals of othello and desdemona).

then again it would come as no surprise that obama clinched the nomination. after all, his heritage and his professed beliefs placed him at an advantageous position. here is a man who might well be the unifying force for a country that has never in history been so divided. he is neither purely black nor white, a product of a mixed union. he appears to transcend the ridiculous quagmire that the once-great system of bi-partisan politics have descended into.

in his auto-biography ‘the audacity of hope’, he affirms his affiliation to the democratic party and its fundamental principles, yet at the same time expressing the desire to work with, not against, the republicans towards the betterment of american society. he is contesting at a time when americans, tired of the war in iraq, are looking for change – pretty much the single word that has come to characterise his campaign. he seems different, not the aloof egomaniac that politicians too often are. rather, his ability to rally at the grassroots level is a direct result of his sincerity and his willingness to listen to the people.

yet it always takes that leap of faith to invest one’s trust in a politician. after all, politics is more often than not the sum of promises made but not delivered. in his own words, obama admits that he sees why that is the case – for many of his colleagues and forebears, once overwhelmed by the trappings of office and the impasse that is the political process, lose the initial fire that spurred them to run in the first place.

the question that is on the minds of the democratic demographic now is: “will clinton be offered, and if so will she accept, the place beside obama as his running mate? if she does then the democratic camp will be fielding what could possibly be the strongest one-two in recent history. both of them obviously have widespread appeal among the people, especially among the minorities. the fact that clinton is an ‘establishment figure’, well connected in the upper echelons of american society, might prove to be a crucial factor against the impressive resources of the republicans. whether such an alliances will materialise is left to be seen, though it would appear to be the logical progression.

the world awaits.

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i have to confess, i am a typical singaporean – full of unbridled optimism until it is brought crashing down. after that i just hang my head and trudge on for a moment, lifting it again when the weight of disappointment has lost its effect. the cycle that has no beginning, the cycle that has no end.

i am not one to blog about about sports, even though i love sports – both in watching and participating. a while ago i watched singapore take on uzbekistan at the national stadium. well, the singapore team was actually up to the challenge for the first 30 minutes or so, before the uzbeks knocked in a couple more goals and breached the floodgates. the end result? a resounding 7-3 to the visitors.

i am no patriot, and you are not going to hear from me of how filled i was with disappointment that our team lost. after all, it was only expected that the experience and confidence of uzbekistan would eventually crush the audacity and hopefulness of the lions. sure that was going to happen, but for the first half an hour i actually allowed myself to entertain the thought that maybe, just maybe, singapore would pull off a coup and upset a team ranked much higher internationally. reality hit and won.

at the end of the game, i was left wondering: what is it that is wrong? why is it that we excel in certain aspects while we flail and stumble in other areas? on the sporting front, the same tired reasons have been repeated time and time again – that we as asians are simply inferior physically and that a society like ours does not allow the pursuit of dreams and goals outside the mainstream to the fullest, just to state a couple. no doubt we are a nation to envy when it comes to the miracle of our economic and social development but even that has to be largely credited to the efforts of our mm and his inner circle. thus, what have we as a people actually achieved?

the dismal answer to the above question is sadly, nothing much. other than raking in more money year after year, can we claim any other achievements that hold value? look at our history – singapore has rarely produced individuals who have given us something to be proud of, be it in surpassing physical limits in sports, or be it in bringing inspiration and relief to others. having said that, i acknowledge and honour the few among us who have done that, and are doing so even now, for they are truly worthy of our admiration and respect. what about the rest of us then? are we simply going to repeat the age-old argument that well, some are just made to be special and it is ok for the rest of us to wallow in mediocrity?

what we lack as a people, may i propose, are two things – the audacity to dream and the mule-headedness to carry it through. practicism permeates the air here, and it is disgustingly noxious at times. we have reached a point in our country’s evolution where people are more able than at any time before to seize the opportunities that abound. what has not changed is our mindset – settling for the path of least resistance, our desires easily assuaged. our forebears would be horrified at the sight of a generation of singaporeans rolling about in the muck, made fat by the fuits in which their tough labour produced and hardly doing anything that future generations can be proud of – more ‘muck’ for them notwithstanding.

the above is hardly a description of people who seek to live their lives knowing that at the end, they have done something to benefit society and make the lives of others better. the rampant self-centeredness and the materialism that pervade this society obscure the possibilities that exist, that there is much more than than endless acquisition and mindless consumption. it is almost like a course that all nations have to take, in the journey towards attaining the status of being ‘first world’. a rise and then a decline that is in our future.

we will have to avert our course. because as the world folds in on itself and more boundaries fall, the playing field is going to get even more competitive. there will come a point in time when adaptability and creativity will be the factors that determine the fittest. the same forces that are causing this are also that which have brought about the tools that we need, and will have to employ, to overcome these challenges. as the whistle sounds as the games begin, who will break the cycle and take it all the way to the end?

writing this has been a sort of catharsis for me personally. i realised that i have made blanket statements without much justification, but i have done so in the best of intentions so may that be overlooked.

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